So, the question is not whether you are a bike snob. Rather, it’s how much of a bike snob are you?
Answer these questions to find out.
Finish the following statement: “My bike is worth…”
- More than I admit, even to close personal friends. And it’s worth much, much more than I admit to my significant other.
- Its weight in gold.
- Really, just gold? Well, I guess that’s how much mine was worth before I upgraded the wheel set.
You are riding along the road when a recumbent bicycle with a bright orange flag approaches from the other direction. What do you do?
- Smile and wave. Hey, it’s great that we’re both on bikes, no matter what kind!
- Nod nearly imperceptibly, so that others on real bikes will not notice.
- Ignore this Philistine, and avoid eye contact at all costs.
When was the last time you cried?
- When someone stole my bike.
- When someone scratched my bike.
- When I was in the local bike shop and a pudgy guy with baggy MTB shorts and a BMX helmet came in with a Bianchi S9 Matta Ti/Carbon Record, asking the mechanic to put slime in the tyres so it wouldn’t get flats so often.
How many bikes do you own?
- Two
- Three-five
- Are you counting complete, ride-able bikes? Or do I have to count all the frames? Also, do I have to count the vintage bikes I keep in case I ever decide to open a bike museum? How about the one that Eddy Merckx once touched?
When riding down the road and you see a cyclist of another discipline do you?
- Wave with hands off the bars as you would a good friend?
- Lift your hand slightly off the bars to acknowledge?
- Nod your head ever so slightly?
- Look straight ahead as if they don’t exist?
When parking your bike down at the coffee shop do you?
- Look for the most prominent spot where all passers-by will see it and comment?
- Be content with making your bike secure but always in your sight?
- Happy to just get the bike parked securely but not to scratch your bike or anyone else’s?
How do you rate other cyclists when first meeting them?
- The perceived value of their bike?
- The hair or absence of on their legs?
- The size of their calf muscles?
- The coordination of their kit including socks shoes and helmet?
If you are with your cycling mates and a non-cyclist you know comes along do you?
- Introduce them to your friends as your friend?
- Smile and just acknowledge their presence?
- Keeping talking and pretend that you haven’t even seen them?
If you have to chose a ride over attending the following events, what order of importance would you rate them?
- A family gathering with in-laws?
- A breakfast with your wife or partner?
- A game of golf or a trip to the football?
How to score yourself: oh, be serious. You know how bad you are. We all have our hidden biases and quirky slants in being cyclists!
Looking forward to seeing you on the road soon God willing.
